So I have no reason to lie to any of you. No reason at all.
So I have been MIA for a while but life gets a hold of everyone and we wonder
off into our own little world and forget that people do care.
Well I know it’s been since about November since I posted
last so there is a lot that has gone one. After our upset in October I went
into a very dark place. I felt that I should not be a mom and I felt that I
didn’t disserve my wonderful daughter. However the Holidays helped to turn my
mood around a little bit. We went to Thanksgiving at my moms in Colorado and
mom and I went black Friday shopping. That was a good time; I enjoyed the time
I got to spend with just my mom. Then Christmas rolled around and we went to
Grandma Joans like always and spend time with aunts and uncles and cousins.
Some time in between there we offered on a house and got an excepted offer
back…but more on that later.
Once the New Year roll in we as a family made a choice to
get healthier. Don’t get me wrong we are not the unhealthiest people since
Advocare has came into our lives, however we still have some work to do. I
still have a good 30 lbs to lose before we even think about starting to get
pregnant with meds again and Ryan could stand to still lose some pounds
himself. This gave me something to think about…to keep my mind off of my
failure to do what women were created to do. I started hard and heavy at
working out and eating healthy. Well that was all going well until BAM we
started talking adoption.
Well adoption seamed like the best route because it had to
be easier and cheaper then the fertility treatments. WRONG…. You have to have a
husband who is on board with it for it to work. This was something that I
thought I had but did not. So the adoption train came to a screeching halt
before it even got started. I was already in contact with a birth mother who
said she was having twins, so I kept talking to her just in case Ryan changed
his mind. Turns out there are cruel people out there who like to mess with the
emotions of women who want to adopt a baby. Yeah she was a scammer!
February came in great because we finally got to close on
our home. We are not the proud owners of a 4 bed 2 bath 2 story home, and we
love it! Let the painting and decorating begin! The only other exciting part of
last month was that I was able to attend Advocare Success School! Most amazing
time of my life!
So here it is…March… Not much to say other then I still have
lots going on and non of it is baby related like I would like it to be. I am
back on track to lose weight and I am very blessed to be down almost 20lbs.
Life moves forward and faster then you might think… so don’t forget to stop
every now and then, take a deep breath and thank God for the blessings I your
life!
