What is it with men!?!

            We started Provera on Monday. It was CD39 and I took a home pregnancy test (HPT) and it was negative. That’s what I expected so I stated the Provera. Like I said in the last post my temps were not very promising. We are going on to an UN RX cycle. I am going to start taking Lydia Pinkham three times a day from CD1 till I ovulate or the bottle is gone what ever works. For some reason they say that the black cosh in the LP can make you have a girl but I really don’t care the gender of the baby! I just want to have another baby.

            The hubby and I got into a huge fight on Sunday night about adoption. I really feel very strongly in my heart that I need to adopt a baby. I have prayed about it and I feel that it is what we need to do. Only thing is that my husband is against it all of a sudden. He actually told me that he would not love the child because it wouldn’t be his. It would be like someone else’s child came to live with us. It broke my heart. He is an amazing father to our daughter and I know he would be a great one to any child that we brought into our family. I guess I will just have to let him stew on it for a while. That is usually what I end up doing and things usually end up in my favor!

Basal Body Temp

            If you are a seasoned trying to conceiver you know all about basal body temping (BBT). If not then here is a little background: You take your temp using a special basal body thermometer. You have to make sure and take your temp first thing in the morning before you even sit up. You also need to take it at the same time every day! You can take the temp oral or vaginal (vaginal is more accurate) and then you track it on a chart. The reason for doing this is that after ovulation the spot where the egg was released from is called the corpus luteum. This spot on the ovary now produces progesterone. Progesterone is a thermal producing hormone that will spike your BBT. The temp will spike at least .3 degrees above the last 6 temps and stay elevated for an average of 14 days. Then if you are not pregnant it will drop back down to where it was pre ovulation and your period will start.

            Anyway the reason for this tracking is to make sure you know when you ovulated and to make sure your not testing to early. Well I have posted my chart for the last cycle below. It is really pissing me off because it isn’t doing anything that a normal temp would do. I am getting so aggravated because for the last week or so as you can see below my temp will spike and I will get excited because I might have ovulated but then it goes right back down! But then back up and I get my hopes up again! I think I’m done with this whole temping thing! Its just driving me crazy!

Provera here we come

            Well today is CD 36 for me and still not for sure sign of ovulation. :o( The hubby and I have been baby dancing every other day just to be safe but I think another round of Provera is in my future! I hate taking Provera with a passion. Their really are not side effects but just knowing that my body has failed me yet again just really makes me mad!

            We are going unmedicated this next cycle. I am going to try Lydia Pinkham herbal supplement. It is suppose to help regulate your cycle so we will see if it helps. They use to market it as “a baby in every bottle” I really hope it works for use because I am just so emotionally drained with all the trying.

            On a brighter note my best friend who is due in November found out last week that she is having a little boy! This is a bad thing for my pocket book though lol cause I keep seeing cute little boy things! And of course I end up buying them! I am so happy for her. 

Introduction

Hello. I am a 22 year old woman who is dealing with the horrible syndrome O. My husband and I have a beautiful daughter who is almost 2. When we found out we were pregnant with her it was a pretty big shock. For one we were not trying. For two I had actually been seeing a doctor because all my life I have had very irregular cycles. That doctor told me that I most likely has some hormone imbalances and possible could have early menopause. She wrote me a script for Provera to indue a period and sent me on my way. She told me once I had a period she wanted me to start testing for ovulation using an ovulation prediction kit (OPK), I started them on or around cycle day (CD) 9 and never got a positive one. Somewhere around CD 37 the doc told me to take a pregnancy test and come in for an appointment so we could see what was going on. I took the test on Feb. 24^th 2010 (my hubby’s 30^th birthday) around 11am when I got up. It was a very clear positive and I about passed out. Because me and my hubby (who was just my live in boyfriend of 2 years at the time) and I were not trying I didn’t know how to tell him. I called my bff Krystal and my mom and told them because I couldn’t keep this to myself. I went almost all day with out telling the hubby because I didn’t want to ruin his birthday. That night a bit before 10 I took another test and I just handed it to him. It was again positive and he was speechless. Happy birthday honey!

            Anyway fast forward 8 months and our beautiful baby girl was born. She was the most beautiful thing I have ever held in my arms! 9lbs 5oz of the most amazing creation God has ever made. She melted my heart and continues to do so 2 years later.

            So here we are…July 14^th 2012… the hubby and I have decided that we wanted to have more kids. We actually made this choice back in like March of 2011 but we decided we wanted to wait until after our lil girl was almost 1. Well September of 2011 came very fast and we began to try to get pregnant again. I got a positive pregnancy test sometime in October but it ended up being a chemical pregnancy the  chemical pregnancy that save us a whole lot of time and stress. When the doc was doing the ultrasound to see what was going on he noticed some weirdness going on with my ovaries. He referred me to an OB/GYN who ran some tests and diagnosed me with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) I was put on 100mg of Clomid for 5 days and told to wait. Well we waited the whole month of November and nothing happened. So came another round of 100mg Clomid and told to wait again. All of December and NOTHING happened. Well I was proscribed Provera gain and along came aunt flow. So we upped the dose to 150mg and again we waited. Only things time I lied to the doc and told him I was having a tun of pain so that he would do an ultrasound. Turns out I had a 22mm cyst on my right ovary that a few days later ovulated. Well even though hubby and I baby danced in all the right times sperm just didn’t meet egg and along came aunt flow again. We decided to take Feb off because of hubby’s birthday and a planned trip to Vegas. The cycle was anovulatory (what I expected) and we did prover again and went on to have my period. As March rolled around we did another round of 150mg Clomid with no response so we changed doctors. The new doc upped us to 200mg Clomid with yet again no response. She then referred us to an OB/GYN who did injections.

            I spoke to my husband about all of this and he said okay. We chose to take a month off so May was kind of just a relax and lose some weight month. After about 30 or so days of that my period showed up and we moved forward. We ordered $800 in HMG injections and started off to the road of hope! Well after 7 days of 150iu injections the ultrasound was not very promising. The doc upped my dose to 300iu injections for 3 days and had me come back. That was one of the most heart breaking days of my life. They did an ultrasound that showed nothing. Not 1 good follicle and not 1 good hope of even ovulation this cycle. The doc abandoned my cycle and told me to go home and call him on CD35 after a negative pregnancy test and he would call in some Provera and we would start again.

            It took everything in me to not bust out in tiers before I got out of the doctors office. I just couldn’t even thing strait. All I could think about was the $800 in injections along with the $1,300 in doctor visits that I had just waisted!!!! I drove home just bawling my eyes out. Finally I stopped long enough to call my step mom and vent to her. She was the most supportive person I have talked to in a long time.

            Once I got home and the hubby and I chatted we decided to wait this cycle out and see what happens. We are on CD 30 today and its not looking to promising. We have both adopted a new diet in hopes to lose some weight. We are working out more and have a plan to get down a few pounds before we start trying again.

             It has almost been a year and boy has it been a hard one. It seems like every where I turn around I have a friend or someone close to me who is pregnant. The worst part about it is that I can’t even share with them my frustrations because my hubby wants to keep this all to ourselves. That’s why I have stated this blog. I will remain anonymous to respect the privacy my hubby wants but I just have to share my story. I have to share my ups and my downs with someone. Hopefully I will connect with someone who is going through the same thing or maybe I will give hope to someone who is out there struggling with the same things that I am. Either way its just something I need to do so that I have a way to release my stress and not keep it all bottled up inside!